Be Accountable for Your Actions!

In 1998 Brad Scott recruited me to play football for the University of South Carolina. Things had not been going great for the Gamecocks; Coach Scott told me I could be part of the recruiting class that turned that turned that trend around.

Before the season started I moved into a suite in the Roost with two other guys from my recruiting class. They were both from Georgia, big guys, 6’6” and 6’3;” I had made a really big deal about needing my own bedroom, so here I was, 5’10,” spread out in a bedroom all by myself, sharing a bathroom with these two huge guys. We all thought it was funny.

There were 20ish guys in my recruiting class and they quickly became my best friends. There was a lot of pressure on us; we leaned on each other, and as we approached the first game of the season, we were really feeling the weight of the school’s, and the fans,’ expectations.

At the first game of the year, v. Ball State, I touched the ball and ran 30 yards. It was the only game we won all season.

It was terrible on campus my freshman year. We tried to keep a low profile, but everyone knew who the football players were. The students made fun of us, our professors made fun of us, fraternities made fun of us… Players were getting in fist fights on campus, in 5 points, at house parties. It was safer to travel as a pair because if you had backup sometimes you could prevent a fight. Usually people were smart enough to see they couldn’t take two of us.

Even in the Roost we weren’t safe; the other freshman athletes made fun of us too. Volleyball players, tennis players, baseball players – they were all laughing at us. In the dining hall you’d be trying to get a sandwich and the golfing team would be snickering. It wasn’t like we could skip meals – during training we had to eat something like 5,000 calories a day. Even walking to class you’d get hassled. And we couldn’t skip class either – a lot of us were on scholarship, and besides, we were at Carolina to learn.

The last week of October, the week of the Tennessee game, I had major surgery. I’d pulled my shoulder out of its socket during the Ball State game, and once it was clear the season was not going so great, Coach Scott offered to medical red shirt me so I could fix my shoulder and be ready to play again next year.

Recovering from the surgery was awful. The doctors told me I couldn’t leave the hospital until I could get up and bathe myself, and I was dying to get out there. But the pain was unbelievable – there was no way I could do it myself. So I begged my mom to bathe me. She refused! I pleaded, “Are you serious, it ain’t nothing you’ve never seen before.” She finally agreed. I could go home! But I was in so much pain I ended up missing a lot more school than I’d anticipated, and I had to withdraw. I spent the rest of the year in Mullins recovering. My mom gave me sponge baths daily. Just kidding!

At the last team meeting of the year Coach Scott announced he was leaving. In December thousands of people came to Williams-Brice to cheer Lou Holtz as the new coach. It felt like the whole city was really excited. But the team was nervous. I was nervous. I had read enough to know that Coach Holtz’s philosophy on coaching was different; he favored big backs, guys over 6 feet, over 200 pounds. Not me.

When we came back to school in January for the winter workout, morale was low. The program was a total mess. There was no discipline, no culture, and no loyalty. But we were still getting up at 5am 4 days a week to workout, running and puking and hustling to get back in shape.

During spring training Coach Holtz pulled me aside and told me I should quit and transfer if I wanted a career in the NFL. It isn’t going to happen for you at Carolina, he told me.

In my family quitting was not an option.

Quitters let other people make decisions for them. I did not want to stop playing football, and I did not want to leave Carolina.

So I adjusted my focus on both football and academics: I switched from offense to defense, and I changed majors from chemistry to retail. And I doubled down on training and studying.

In 1999 we won 0 games. We knew we’d get better; it was going to take lots of work, but now the entire team was on board; it felt different, less urgent, like there was a plan. But the culture on campus got even worse. Season one under Coach Holtz was not the Second Coming people anticipated, and everyone thought it was our fault. We stuck together even more; we didn’t go anywhere alone.

(I’d discovered the buffet in the Russell House had some food that tasted sort of like home, but going there for fried chicken and rice meant I had to convince several guys they wanted that too, because walking into that dining hall was the equivalent of begging to be mocked. By a mob. A hungry one.)

My junior year we finally started winning. We won 8 games in 2000. I was living in the South Quad apartments then, still with football players, but this time we all had our own rooms. As a team, we were closer than ever. Those years of shared misery had bonded us; and we felt like we were moving closer to something together. The vibe on campus was getting better too.

Coach Holtz gave us the skills and training to be a better team, but he gave us something that had far longer lasting importance:

At the second team meeting, he handed out a credit card sized sheet that said Be Accountable for Your Actions! on one side, and listed all the coaches’ home and office numbers on the other. Look at this before you make any decisions, he told us. Put it in your wallet. Carry it with you wherever you go. Reach out if you need help.

Be Accountable for Your Actions!

We all did as instructed, but it wasn’t until many years later that we realized that Coach Holtz was giving us a tool to shape the building blocks of the adult lives that were starting to take shape in that locker room. In Be Accountable for Your Actions he was providing us a framework for how to be our best selves – for ourselves, but also for others.

I consider Be Accountable for Your Actions the universal code for success. I ask myself the questions on the card before I make all decisions, personal and professional. Should I hire a new trainer? I consult the card. Should I open another location? I consult the card. Should I go help my dad? I consult the card. Should I write this blog? I consult the card. It forces me to be responsible to myself, and responsible to others.

This card has made my life infinitely easier. It’s surprising how simple it is to come to the right decision when I ask myself these questions. This card also gives me confidence. Because I know answering yes to all these questions will never steer me wrong.

Be Accountable for Your Actions also helps me maintain momentum. I want to always be evolving, growing, and improving, and I use these questions to propel me forward. If you’re constantly re-evaluating, growth is inevitable.

But Be Accountable for Your Actions is also tool for being present in daily life. Being mindful is vital, and it’s something I try to practice every day. But honestly, it’s something I struggle with; while I’d like to be able to relish the moment, I’m programmed more for go go go.

The bottom line is: Be Accountable for Your Actions will always help you do the right thing.

After I left Carolina, it was years before I went back to a Gamecocks football game. People are often surprised to hear I’m not all that passionate about Gamecock football. To me, it’s a game. I think Coach Muschamp is outstanding. For every 4 hours we see him on the field, he’s working 100 hours behind the scenes. And doing a very good job. I would not want to be in his shoes.

I can feel the vibe change in Columbia we move towards football season – the city gets a new energy. I’ll probably even go to a couple of games this year, so maybe I’ll see you there, Gamecocks fans. (This is probably a good time to say – I’ll give you a pass on consulting this card when you’re planning your tailgating spread. Eat something good and there’s always a class at JSF tomorrow!)

As the new school years starts, I hope Be Accountable for Your Actions will help you all as much as it’s helped me.

Do you have a tool like this you’re already using? Is it possible to simultaneously push yourself and live in the moment?